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Furry Comic
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DevilDoll3
Iron Angel
Warnings:
Posts: 97

Post Furry Comic Quote
This story doesn't have a tittle yet and Issue ones starts off very slow however it gets better later on.

Sat May 12, 2007 10:15 am Profile PM
feather
DaVinci Angel
Warnings: Warning
Posts: 5111

Post Quote
Yep, that is moving kinda slow; I can see your problem, and it was the same problem I found I had when I started plotting out my doujins. You want to show every step and action independant on it's own, and sort of try to tell the story in real time. I've found that frequently you can combine two together, or simple omit one. I'd say if you cut the length by half or two thirds here, it would read a lot better.

Also, yay furries!


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Sat May 12, 2007 6:56 pm Profile PM
Fragnostic
LAH Artist
Warnings: Warning
Posts: 1295

Post Quote
I'm scared... this is gonna be a horror or a thriller?
He will kill her under the bath with a kitchen knife and then fuck her dead body?

(LOLZ joking)

PS: I like the TV speak. Wink

Sat May 12, 2007 7:01 pm Profile PM
DevilDoll3
Iron Angel
Warnings:
Posts: 97

Post Quote
Thanks for the tip, however, i would need more comments on these page. This is pretty much not an hentai manga or comic.

Thu May 24, 2007 4:33 am Profile PM
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