PLEASE LOG IN OR REGISTER TO BE ABLE TO SEE THE PICTURES AND ATTACHED FILES!
|
Author |
Message |
DevilDoll3
Iron Angel
Warnings:
Posts: 97
|
Furry Comic |
Quote |
This story doesn't have a tittle yet and Issue ones starts off very slow however it gets better later on.
|
|
Sat May 12, 2007 10:15 am |
Profile PM
|
|
feather
DaVinci Angel
Warnings:
Posts: 22
|
|
Quote |
Yep, that is moving kinda slow; I can see your problem, and it was the same problem I found I had when I started plotting out my doujins. You want to show every step and action independant on it's own, and sort of try to tell the story in real time. I've found that frequently you can combine two together, or simple omit one. I'd say if you cut the length by half or two thirds here, it would read a lot better.
Also, yay furries!
_________________ This space intentionally left blank. |
|
|
Sat May 12, 2007 6:56 pm |
Profile PM
|
|
Fragnostic
LAH Artist
Warnings:
Posts: 2
|
|
Quote |
I'm scared... this is gonna be a horror or a thriller?
He will kill her under the bath with a kitchen knife and then fuck her dead body?
(LOLZ joking)
PS: I like the TV speak.
|
|
Sat May 12, 2007 7:01 pm |
Profile PM
|
|
DevilDoll3
Iron Angel
Warnings:
Posts: 97
|
|
Quote |
Thanks for the tip, however, i would need more comments on these page. This is pretty much not an hentai manga or comic.
|
|
Thu May 24, 2007 4:33 am |
Profile PM
|
|
|
|
You cannot post new threads in this forum You cannot reply to threads in this forum You cannot edit your posts in this forum You cannot delete your posts in this forum You cannot vote in polls in this forum You cannot attach files in this forum You cannot download files in this forum
|
Do not upload or mention any illegal content. Violators will be reported to the authorities. You are responsible for your uploads and actions.
If it is illegal for you to view adult lolikon material in your current location, leave this site immediately.
LAH is in compliance with DMCA.
|